the problem with EX-es

I don't get this. Why do all my ex-bfs stay in touch with their other ex-gfs and my this one particular ex-bf avoids me like plague? There are numerous occasions where i go; "ah, whose that?" "Oh, my ex gf. We're still friends" "(what the hell........ :-S)"

ok. fine. whatever. ex gf. at least now, I AM with the guy right?

Which brings me a thought to ponder. Why doesnt Rod want to keep in touch with me?

• send an email - no reply
• send sms - no reply
• send merry Xmas - got a standard christmas gretting text reply
• send happy birthday - no reply

Shouldn't it be we female species are the type who 'hold grunges forever' kind? We species are the type who 'you never existed in my life' kind? We species are the type who 'don't ever come find me again' kind?

***********************************************************

i was in love once. A boy who rides a vulcan kawasaki. That mean machine we usually cruise on the highway at 220km/h. What a thrill it was. Seeing all the kapchais & wiras lagging sorely behind. And he use to buy me rotiboy whenever i was on one of my 'merajuk' mood swings.

i guess it doesn't matter.

The void in me will always be there. Would it be better if we were still friends? I don't know.

i have been afraid all this while. Yet i hope someday i will be able to fall in love again. A forwarded mail once said; it takes only a second to fall in love. yeah, how hard can that be?


For the record, Michelle hasn't eaten rotiboy since 2006. She's thinks she's going to bug her hottie divemaster.

somethings are meant not to be seen

Someone saw you with another woman. Skinny, tanned, long hair, petite one. I didn't want to believe. No, never would I believe.
Until, I saw. With my eyes I saw you with her. Laughing gayly without a worry in the world.

I knew this was coming. Sooner or later. To hold another woman in your arms. To have another woman breathe into your ears. To cuddle another woman in your embrace.

Why did we end up like this? Why did we changed?

I am blank.

I don't believe.

The Smiling Man from the Lift

He was very quiet when he came. Who could blame him anyway? All the way from Argentina he came, to a land he knows no one. We seldom talked, partly I was arrogant and he... he was just shy. All I did was smile. And he smiled back.

I met him at the lift once by surprise. It was already 7.40pm.

• "Why so late?" I asked.
• "Its normal" he said flashing a big smile.

That smile. That cute, boyish smile that touched my heart.
We continued talking even for that mere 3 minutes before reaching the Basement. He told me about where he's living, his wife, his kids....

Two weeks later, I hear tragic news.

*********************************************************

I regret I never smiled more.
I regret I never stopped to say Good Morning when I come to work.
I regret I never said How are you doing when I bumped into him at the pantry.
I regret I never talked to him longer in the lift.


Today, when I walk past his empty cubicle, tears start to well up...

-Michelle reminds herself to stop and tell the people around her; she loves them -

I came, I saw and I hunted

My first ever treasure hunt - Philip Morris Return to Treasure Island, 2008 at Tioman Island.

Even though we didn't win, (should have expected it when we were up against veteran treasure-hunters!), we did have plenty of wholesome fun! Tired, bruised, hungry - we did make it to the checkpoint in Tg. Gemuk on time. (We were among the last five to arrive, actually. (lol!))

Gotta give my thumbs up to the PMM comittee for organizing such a fab event, especially the after hunt event- dinner cum party at the Berjaya Tioman's own Bali Hai Restaurant. To actually see my serious, no-frills colleagues, letting their hair down dancing the night away with free flow of booze was indeed a welcoming sight. (These people can actually partay)
And you know what the best part was? Moi won a Ducati cap in a "who has the longest cucumber" game! Aye!
(Me and Woman was pulled on stage unexpectedly by Trutz... "Ladies, come on, be a sport. Join me..." Can you say no to the marketing MD?)

-Michelle is proud of her sexy tan after lazing on the beach for the whole of Saturday-

7th May '08

• I see the beginning signs of flu.
• My handphone is awfully quiet.
• I have a terrible headache.
• I'm going treasure-hunting on Friday.

-Gawd damn. Michelle feels miserable-

Building Bridges

-Michelle reminisces about little Sofia-

Rage is never a Reason

• out of control
• a servant
• a puppy dog
• no education

What will you get if you combined all the above?
Have you ever stop and think what impact will it bring; even it’s just mere words? To shout, scream and point accusingly like a crazy man; have you no respect for her?

1. To call her someone with no education – when she graduated with 2nd upper Hons. degree.
2. Think of that someone on the streets loafing, high on drugs, whoring – that at least you have a chance to call no education!
3. To call her a servant and puppy dog – when all she did was on her own free-will
4. To say she is out of control – when all she did was doing something she is HAPPY doing
5. To be afraid of what the relatives say – when the relatives did not even contribute to her growing up. And her own cousin dropped out of Uni because she was pregnant! And you’re afraid of relatives’talk?
6. To ask her what is the meaning of DIGNITY – when she has a band 4 in MUET and has always aced A1 in English?
7. To say she has abandoned you – when girls of her age are either married or pregnant
8. To say she has no respect – when she has never once raise her voice nor be rude nor be sarcastic and has obediently paid her expenses?

Life is too short to think about what people would say. Just as long as you’re happy and you’re not breaking the law, don’t stop doing what you like doing – this is what she believes. Stop and look at the bigger picture – realize what she has grown up to be. Realize what she has achieved, what she has learnt.

To accuse her, to blame her, to raise your voice at her – that is just too much for her to swallow. You've gone too far.

Celebrity Sightings

I am often starstrucked by the slightest appearance of celebrities - yes, even local celebrities. They have a term for people like me; ja kun ;)

By far, those sighted include:

1. David Beckham at Stadium ..... (damn, I can't remember!) for some Castrol event
   
2. Soong Ai Ling at Nirvanas, Bangsar


3. Asha Gill at Bangsar post office


4. Nur Fazura at The Street, Curve


5. Sazzy Falak at MidValley


6. Pietro at Curve


7. Denise Keller at Sg Wang plaza
   

And just yesterday, my latest sighting - Amy Mastura at Nirvanas, Bangsar. I was sitting at the same table with her, her hubby, 2 kids and a maid having banana leaf rice together. Ashamed to say, I went "OMG, OMG, OMG, I'm having banana leaf with Amy!" under my breath.

-Michelle agrees that Amy looks as sweet as peach even in-real-life-

Amazing KL

You don't have to go far to get magnificent views. A scene taken from KLCC on 1st April during the horrible rainstorm that struck.

-Michelle was stuck in a 2hr jam to get back home from Pusat Bandar Damansara-

BIG-hearted people

“Recently, the group organised its 102nd fundraiser at Guinness Anchor Breweries, which was attended by about 250 people who donated generously to 15-year-old Premeena Balakrishnan who lost her kidneys three years ago.
A sum of RM12,000 was raised for Premeena on that evening amid music and a buffet dinner.” (1 April 2008, NST)

Drink booze all you want and get to help a kid. Cool?
(The kind folks at the recent fund raising event)

-Michelle is proud of her bulat-

Little Sofia

I am not your average, run-of-the-mill woman that you'd see at Carrefour. Women of that kind have a same common purpose - to breed and continue the bloodline. To unleash their motherly instincts that has long been sown in them.
I dislike kids. I can't bring myself to do baby talk when I see small kids. I can't go, "Oh, so nice. Cleeever boy" when all that brat did was scribbled a wiggle. I don't understand the joy of having a kid who is loud, obnoxious, naughty and talks back. I still don't.

Not till last Thursday. I joined some kind strangers from PMI to visit an orphanage in Chow Kit road; Rumah Nur Salam. This home is partly sponsored by PMI and it shelters abandoned kids of sex-workers (Chow Kit road? how appropriate).
The moment I got there, I was greeted by young boys and girls, rushing to give me salam. I was surprised by their lack of shyness knowing that they are seeing me for the first time. There they come, queuing, touching my hand gently against their forehead. (My first aaw-moment)
Everyone there was very obedient and well mannered unlike those rascals you see at Mid Valley. Spoiled by their ignorant rich parents I'd say. Kid from this home has no parents and some not even schooled. And yet, they know their Ps & Qs.
Then there was little Sofia. I don't know why, but this little girl was fondly attached to me. I didn't do anything but yet she just came to me. She came, held on to my hand and pulled me wherever she went.
"Kakak, nak main" (pointing to the snakes + ladders)
"Kak, makan sama-sama"
"Saya dah abis lukis, kakak"
(My second aaw-moment) We had so much fun together that , shit, I was actually going to cry when it was time for me to go.

Sofia might have forgotten about me by now. And she may never know that I wrote this for her; but Sofia, I wish you happiness and joy always. She is still too young to understand the hardships she is going to face but I wish you strength, Sofia.
Till I see you again in 3 months time.

No child deserves to be abandoned. Every child deserves to be brought up with love, care and attention. Do the right thing - use a condom.

-Michelle still prefers having a German Shepherd to keep her company. At least, she won't talk back-

The perils of an Equipment Engineer

Dear Sender,

Currently I am being fucked by all my supervisors for the crash of a test platform that I have not even been handling ever. I will be out of office and will be entrapped between piles of testers in the production floor enduring my constants phones calls from Darth Vader and Darth Maul.

I will attend to your mails once the sore surrounding my arse reduces and I am able sit back down on my office chair.

Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

(If you reach up to this stage in your auto reply mails, you'll know you're going up)

(Next PMT is waiting for you, baby)

All I did for Christmas...

• Facebook-ing

Red, Yellow, Green

Never under-estimate the power of traffic lights. A mere pole with 3 colored bulbs can cause life-changing events.
A 30min journey home last night took me a whopping 2 ½ hours. Why? Faulty traffic lights. As my car inched its way, bit by bit, till 50m away the traffic light, it suddenly came to a standstill. All of us were sitting in our motionless cars breathing in carbon-monoxide for a good ol 20mins. Alamak… what’s wrong laa? Just let me go a bit more…

Turned out it was jam-locked at the intersection. Cars were turning right, cars were turning left, cars were going straight – nobody wants to give way. They seem oblivious to the huge jam they’re causing, sitting in their cars pretending nothing’s wrong. You don’t want to give way ah? Don’t give lo.. I also don’t want to give. We sit here and wait till who gives lo.
The traffic lights then came back up. Still nobody gave in.

A man, a few cars ahead of me, got down. Clearly pissed off, he went to the intersection, said something to those selfish arseholes and restored traffic. Cars were moving and I’m one-step closer to home.
Hallelujah!

In this time of age, common sense is no longer common anymore. The man had enough sense (common, of course) in him, to put things right, what we already know is right. Hey, I’d do the same too. But me, driving alone, handbag on the passenger seat, purse containing $20… what if in the midst of me being heroine, some motorcyclist swerve in grab my handbag, or worst drive my car away? Gender-prejudiced I am, but let the men handle this.

To the man in the Mercedes, WMS 5665, you have my sincerest utmost respect.

When I grow up...

Su was asking me, if I had a choice, what would I choose to become?
When I was a little girl, I remembered I had many ambitions -mostly influenced from TV- some intelligent, extravagant and some downright silly . (To quote my Stranger, women are fickle-minded)

1. Scientist – I like catching bugs and can admire their itsy-bitsy bodies for hours
2. Dancer – Leslie’s backup dancers look so darn good on stage
3. Teacher – so that I can understand the euphoric sensation; the each time my English teacher whacks me with a double-bounded-wood ruler ( Being me, I can still remember her name, Puan Usha Rani. And now fate has it, that she’s teaching in the same school as Mom! I can seek revenge! Muahahahaha... Nooo... my stranger tells me I should forgive, Be the Greater Person. Okaay…let’s try with her…)
4. Nurse – the doctors on TV always look so handsome

Couple of years down the road, I’m an engineer. Never appeared in the list. Never thought I’d become one either. I did it out of filial-piety. But hey, it pays well (or so I think…)

Back to Su’s question: I want to be a baker. I get such a crazy feeling seeing plain bland dough transforming into something so majestically beautiful. I can start out in a little bakery, churning out hot potato buns then slowly climb my way up to The Loaf dishing out avant-garde Campagne Fromage.

Nah, I’ll be content for now, baking ugly brownies at home…

The Power of Holidays

I lurve holidays. Reasons below in particular order:

1. No work. (Yabba dabba do!)
2. Sleep all day.
3. Disturb people sleeping.

There's just nary worry in my head - no yield issues to close, no follow up work, no emails to reply, no people to call (even though I dislike them), no data to compile, no reports to generate, no documents to read - sheer oblivious ignorance. Bliss.
And you know what the best part is?
Couple ignorance bliss with some kick-ass chicken briyani. And mutton dhalca. And spicy chutney. And idli.
Fantastic!

To give you a rough picture on how fantastical I feel, I'm signing off with this.

Boleh buka boot?

I've never been stopped by police before. Up until last night, that is. We were on our way home from Eckywoobee and there was a roadblock in front. The policeman signaled us to the side.
(OMG, do I look that drunk?)

• Police: Selamat malam encik. Boleh buka boot?

Stranger got pulled out from the car to open the boot while the rest of us were asked for our ICs.
(Now, what? They suspect we're hiding drugs in the boot?)
A moment later, stranger came back and this was the gist of it.

• Stranger: You know what the fella said when I opened the boot? "Ini boot lebih besar laaa. Ini Toyota kann? Berapa harganya?"
• Stranger: We got pulled over because the police wants to check out my car!!!

All New VIOS. My design. My pride.

The Way to a Woman's Heart

No, it’s not roses.
No, it’s not pink roses.
No, it’s not 24 pink roses...either...

It’s the entire process flow of ‘getting flowers’.

1) It’s the effort of him calling the florist:

• Man: Hello? Get me 2 dozen flowers.
• Florist: What flowers do you want?
• Man: Just get me any flowers. 2 dozen. Oh no, wait a minute. Get me pink roses. (She likes pink)

2) It’s the effort of him picking up the flowers after a 12-hr shift in the wee hours of the morning.

3) It’s the effort of him driving to her house.

4) It’s the effort of him surprising her with a bouquet of roses at her doorstep.

That’s what a new-age, sensitive, modern, millennium man would do.
That’s what my stranger did =)

Beyond colors, beyond boundaries

It was a chaotic scene. There were people shouting, people shoving, people rushing.

The din was deafening. ‘Waiter!’, ‘more soup’, ‘bill!’ fills the air.

Peak lunch-hour period in downtown KL on a bright Sunday afternoon. Two strangers were seated among a sea of tourists at a BKT shop. He picks up a piece of meat delicately with chopsticks like a pro while she pokes her kailan with a fork just like any other kid brought up during the raging Fast-Food era.

Here’s the irony:

His dad's name is Santhana. Her dad's name is Lee.

The lady who took their orders muffled a laugh staring at these two weird strangers. In the midst of all the commotion, this scene just did brighten her day a little. “People just get weirder and weirder in this time and age…” she mutters…

Guess the old saying ‘opposites attract’ do hold true. The fact he knows how to use the chopsticks CORRECTLY and she doesn’t, oddly forms an attraction. (Haehehae)

Just like in the movies

Two complete strangers seated in the same room having induction together. One sitting in front another seated at the back. Neither knew of each other’s name nor existence. There have been times where their paths crossed, though neither of them really realized. Not until one stranger left, that fate brought them together.
Fate works in mysterious ways; magical, some would say. Our higher being up there has his own ‘sneaky’ ways for His children.

It started out with just a casual movie date. He just wants to watch a movie, while she was more interested in his tattoos. Not until then, did they realize they share many common similarities – passion for food, That 70’s Show, tattoo fanatics, 80’s music (yea, baby!)
Unashamedly, she admits. He’s irresistibly addictive and attractive.

He came. He saw. He caused many sleepless nights.