04 July 2009

Played Out

i am always played. people out there just want to hurt my feelings. why? is this some bad karma from my past life? or those suckers out there just get a freggin kick seeing me hurt with tears rolling down? when i'm hurt, memories of 8th May start flooding back. i sit at the corner of my bed reminiscing that phone call he made. he told me, "i feel i can live alone now. i don't need anyone..."
i said goodbye and ended the call. i sat there with my head slumped to the wall, tears rolling down non-stop for many months. Various images flashed through my head; i felt like running away, i felt like slitting my wrist, i felt like drinking detergent, i felt like calling him back, i felt like going back in time wishing that call was never made. i remembered at that same moment, one of my primary mates called. bad timing. i wailed, yelled and scared the shit out of him. he could only console me by saying, "there're plenty of bastards out there. this bastard is not worthy"

why are there so many bastards in my life? jeez!
stupid Muthar Farker just have to shout, twist and twirl the story to make me look i am in the wrong. WTF?

and still i allow myself to be fooled by sweet charming words. i swallow my pride. i cry, wail for 10 mins. i wipe my tears, pretend nothing happen. i put on my cheerful smile and hope yet again a fairytale life awaits me.

isn't that what all girls dream of?

Michelle hates that bastard and loves that bastard at the same time


joyce said...

Roomate, i blif true love does exist. Have faith :)

Chee Tat said...

housemate, i dun believe true love exist. jadi nun la.....