26 February 2010

Divemaster becoming fulltime

dear blog,

i heard my Divemaster tendered his resignation today. no, he did not tell me. i heard it from a friend through a colleague through a friend.

i am sad.

it's just not me who's avoiding him. it works both ways, he is too. with him leaving PM, this means i will no longer see him. not even his car not even his desk. he will soon vanish in a poof! lose all trace of sentimental memories that tie to him. he's leaving, michelle.

he finally took the bold step. i am guessing he decided to become Divemaster/Underwaterphotographer full time, a dream he told me numerous times when we were together. or he could get married to that lawyer bitch of his and settle down in an island. well, i hope not....

according to K├╝bler-Ross model, people deal with these 5 stages when faced with tragedy or grief :
  1. denial
  2. anger
  3. bargaining
  4. depression
  5. acceptance
6months has passed and i guess i'm in #4. what' strange with me, don't matter how badly i want to avoid him, at the back of my head, i know he is just 1 floor above me. though i don't see him, i don't talk to him, i know he will be upstairs at his desk noon onwards. that assurance is no longer valid soon. he's leaving, michelle.

i thought i'll build up courage, walk up to him and say goodbye when i leave (the least i could do...) but it doesn't matter anymore. he's leaving sooner than i am. and he didn't have the thought to tell me...

1 comment:

Xweing said...

you r really articulate in your thoughts when it comes to describing your heartache.

i feel for you, i really do.

hope you will feel better and move on easier when he's gone! stay strong, gal!