Selamat Harijadi Michelle

I am 27 today, wow... 27. I am getting old. I didn't want this day to come, let it be, let it slide, as normal as Thursdays can be. Thoughts of yesteryears creep in as 8th July approaches. I told no one, but I was supposed to be at Rainforest Music Festival,Swak this year. Supposed to be my birthday gift.

All I wanted for my birthday is to see Divemaster in flesh.

Dear Blog,
It's coming up to a year now - since Divemaster left. You will think I'm getting better, wouldn't you? I tell myself that too sometimes. I can say I'm no longer that wreck of shit last year, who hides in a corner and cry till my eye veins pop.

Yet I still keep his picture in my phone, occasionally whips out to look at it whenever I see something that reminds me of him. Just the other day, I saw a banner that says "Dive Now, Work Later". It was his motto, something which he always tells me. And there I was staring at my phone forever.

I can't let go. I'm stucked and I can't climb out.

How long is it going to take? 2yrs? 5 yrs? Baah..I'm gonna be a wrinkled spinster !

A first birthday in the Philippines was nice. The office threw me a surprise party (I was really caught surprise!) with 2cakes, pizza & ice cream. Everyone treated me super awfully nice. Everyone wanted to hug me even my giant Brazilian director, "Birthday Girl! C'mere and give me a hug! Happy Birthday u!". Walter called me all the way from Indonesia. Woah. How's that?

Once a year - Obligation.

At the end of the night, after a few mango shakes & stinging pain from my latest inked!, I went to bed with a hope, "I wish my Divemaster was here"

My only consolation was Divemaster dropped a birthday greeting on FB. At least he remembers,